Cheap Champagne

Second only to rent, food is my budgetary downfall. There's got to be some kind of psychological underpinning here that I have yet to unearth, but for some reason the idea of not eating what, or when, I want to eat makes me feel unbearably vulnerable. Like eat-a-whole-funfetti-cake-in-one-sitting depressed. I've lived under suboptimal conditions (roaches, mice, and bedbugs, oh my) and I have gone to great, pitiable lengths to avoid an expense or two, but these things don't stir up the same sort of emotion in me that food deprivation does.

I say this, because one of the first pieces of advice I'm given when I say I need to cut costs is that I should eat rice, eggs, and beans for a couple months. Even the more nutritionally-conscious of my friends seem to think that a daily salad, pile of chickpeas, and canned tuna will be my silver bullet. "Just eat oatmeal for dinner, you get used to it." Nope. I don't need to spend a lot on food, nor do I need to eat anything particularly decadent, but I do need to eat like a person or I lose my mind.

But also: meal planning is not always feasible in New York. First of all, kitchens are afterthoughts - I think a six year old could do more with an Easy Bake oven than I can do with my kitchen. In fact, I found out recently that my oven does not work at all, and my landlord responded with: "Oh, I had no idea - you're the first tenant in 8 years to have tried to use it."

Plus, things come up. When you meal plan, you buy a bunch of food at the start of the week that you plan to use. You "invest". But then you have an impromptu business trip scheduled, or a date, or a work dinner, or some other engagement that requires you to pick something up so you don't pass out, and then you've bought a bunch of perishable food for nothing. And it perishes.

I'm going to try a new strategy, which is to NOT buy food in advance, but to buy only what I need a day or two (max) before I need it. Because I live mere blocks from 4 different grocery stores and markets, this doesn't really cost me anything additional (i.e. transportation costs). I find that I operate much more frugally this way and am more realistic about what I can and cannot eat.

Hello. My name is MacKenzie, and I'm about to pay down a truckload of debt no one knows I have. I found this site after frantic Google searches and really liked the idea of a supportive community of people tracking their daily successes and challenges. So many of the personal finance blogs and resources out there just scream at you. "Live like me and YOU TOO can be a millionaire!" "15000 ways to CUT DOWN your grocery bill!" I like hearing stories, not one-liners and Top 10 lists.

Close friends and family are used to my cheerful broke girl anecdotes, but these so-called tales of woe are mandatory table talk among 20-somethings in New York. The first time you hear a friend complain about "being broke" en route to the Hamptons is the last time you have faith that anyone really knows what that means here.

I've kept quiet about my debt because I'm embarrassed by it. For the most part, choices - not misfortune - got me here. I'm sure the details on that will emerge later. When I think about my debt, I feel like an irresponsible child. As someone who prides herself on her immunity to status symbols and luxury living, I am in awe of the way my credit card bills reflects that of a chick with way more handbags. Nearly all of my problems can be attributed to misguided decisions I made in my first two years in New York - jobs that didn't pay enough, moving before I could afford to, continuing education classes I didn't need, prolonged unemployment while waiting for "the perfect job". I don't live large now, but it's been nearly impossible to undo the damage of the past without a windfall of cash.

Anyway, it's time I laid it all out there. I'm tired of financial insecurity defining me, limiting me, and destroying my morale. I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck and wondering if it ever gets better, if I can ever enjoy a sunny brunch without agonizing over the cost of an avocado add-on.

I have $6,000 I need to pay off by March. I receive an annual bonus of between $5-15k (pre-tax), and while all signs are pointing to a good year, I am going to live under the assumption that it will be $5k after all (so $3,500 after tax). That leaves $2,500 to pay off until then, which is no small feat considering my income and the tight margins I live within. But I can do it. I have to.